People Are Stupid

You may have noticed the title of this post: "People are Stupid." My prime example and the driving force behind this sentiment is a person that I, and only I, call "me." (Others may say "Alyson," "Al," "her," or "you" [depending on who they are talking to])

• My blog is called Alyson of L.A., yet there is a picture of San Francisco as the header.
• This is the blog that I linked to my anonymous twitter account. I mean, Alyson of L.A.? Could I have gotten any more specific? One could easily figure out which Alyson is writing here to you right now, and by backward investigation, uncover the identity of the mysterious (and offensive) enigma, @grumpybartender) There can't be more than 10,000 Alysons in the city. All it would take is a little dedication and a sprinkle of obsession, and poof: I'm found out.
• Final act of stupidity: My remedies for the stupid acts fore-declared are stupid, which calls for another remedy, sending me endlessly spiraling into infinite stup (pronounced stoop).

I solved the San Francisco header problem by moving to San Francisco, so, while accurate as an autobiographical illustration (in the, less commonly used, dipictionary sense of the word), it still leaves the Title/Picture contradiction perfectly intact, and adds yet another unresolved spiral to this very entry.

My corrective measure for the explosive divulgence of my no-longer-secret character on twitter was to come clean to my followers about my true self, right here and now, which is information I regret confessing before I confess it (a mere twist, or another full circle?), as I realize the non-stupid thing to do would be to unlink the unknown and the known selves. This lack of privacy exposes me for the blasphemy against the employer that gives me my only muse about which to tweet, and will inevitably terminate all access (and employment) to subject matter worth writing, and in turn destroying the once-concealed personality and myself all at once (because it is the same person).

I, being a singular (well, double in this case) representative of people, having destroyed my own selves in a backwards, circular, absurd, and unnecessary manner, am true proof that people are stupid.

Meme

I think I am going to commit to a 10-day meme, even though I do not really know what a meme is, but nobody really reads this blog anyway!

Corny as it sounds, I need practice being more internet-y. I mean, I had to google "what does SMH stand for?" SMH.

The fact is, we are all self-obsessed and like talking about, dwelling on, and sharing with the world, ourselves.

So here is my first experience with being a part of 2010 with most everybody else.

A never-meant-to-be-seen preface to a pointless thought-spewing entry:

It's Not That I'm Cheating, We just Have a Different Kind of Relationship!

TheBestAlysonInTheWorld.Tumblr.Com

Some people write pointless and uninteresting blogs. I should be allowed too.

Today I realized something that shocks me how long it took me.
The signs were all there. Blindly, I found myself in the same bad situation over and over, yet didn't learn the lesson I was meant to learn.
Trust your instincts, people!
I realized today I just plain don't like omelettes! I like the idea of them, they always sound good. But when I get them in front of me, I am constantly reasoning with myself "oh, I just didn't get the right combination of ingredients in that bite, the next one will be good." "Maybe it needs salt," "ihop should really stick to pancakes"
It just doesn't make sense! I like eggs, I like mushrooms, I like cheese. I even like them together! Maybe I will give it another chance... Should I?

Calling All Fatties!!!

I am tempted to create a "Show Your Skin Day" (cause obviously if i create it, it'll catch on like wildfire and the world will be changed forever. It's just a matter of me deciding to make it happen or not) which is a day where everybody wears the littlest amount of clothes possible. EVERYBODY!!

Now before you sickos start reaching for your camera phones, before a religious mob starts chasing me with rods of fire and wooden stakes, and above all before you "flawed" beauties start panicking about people seeing your body, read on.

What's shameful is not the body you were born with, or the body that expresses your experience, joys, pains, and life until now-- but the fact that you carry on this message that it's not good enough.

For some of you, the only thing you will eat up is some bullshit about looking perfect that you are fed. Why don't you feel guilty about eating that? That person who, instead of thinking for themself, buys what the media sells (media [TV, print, movies]-- all systems which are known to be bad and NOT in the interest of the viewer...evil!!) is permeating that belief to others, maybe younger people or someone who looks up to him/her. The media plants the seed and like blind followers we water it! (If I believed in "shoulds" I would say:) You should literally look at yourself and be ashamed that you are promoting this hatred and judgement. It's embarassing-- your backwards heirarchy of priorities (moral beliefs being lower than appearances) makes you more vain than spiritual, intellectual, or unique. Who wants to be that?! Lets's change it up and live in love, tolerance, acceptance, satisfaction, joy, appreciation, and beauty! Real beauty.

I'm calling all of you out! If you want to make a change, let's get naked! And let us appreciate diversity!

I'm Letting My Insensitivity Out For One Sentence

Why, the sudden urge to blog when you have a baby? Maybe I will find out later. Probably not, because after having a puppy, I no longer want a parasitic organism that is depending on me for life, while similtaneously destroying mine. I might just let go one day....
Just kidding, I'm not that evil (not as evil as my dog is).